


If You Could Catch the Stars || Woosan

by Jam_less



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, He loves the stars, M/M, San's POV, Wooyoung's a star, a little deep, idek, kinda cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:40:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jam_less/pseuds/Jam_less
Summary: San had always loved the stars. Then one day, he found one in broad daylight.ORSan's obsessed with the night sky, but falls for Wooyoung and gives up everything.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Woosan - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	If You Could Catch the Stars || Woosan

San had always loved the stars. As a child, he would climb onto the roof, lugging a thick blanket to protect against the cold wind as he lay for hours, watching the stars. They were silent, but in their silence he found the music of his heart. 

He watched them every night, staring in wonder at the tiny rips in his life's fabric, the promise of a greater future. Their colors lured him in, shining across the dark night sky in magnificent shows of beauty.

One night, he chose a special star, and in the days following he would search for it, scouring through the millions of distinct balls of light for his special star. For a month, he found his same star, watching it as it made it's way across the night sky. He followed its path, and as he watched, it dipped below the horizon and vanished.

In a single night it was gone, and with it went a piece of San's soul. So he gathered himself, and chose another. 

Throughout the years of his childhood, San chased hundreds of stars across the sky, following them until he could no longer go where they went, and then they would leave him behind. He was always following, and longed for nothing more than to lift off and chase his captors forever, no longer chained to the ground, where he was being chipped away at, month by month. He dreaded the morning, watching as his beautiful stars vanished from the sky, twinkling their goodbyes as the sun rose from the horizon at the start of each new day.

As his body grew to match his mind, San strayed from the night sky, but he never left for long. Even if he went weeks without looking upon his stars, the longing to follow them across the sky always lulled him back to the roof. 

Even when he went to college, he followed his stars. He let them drag him wherever they went, succumbing to their power and watching in uncomplaining awe as they tore him apart, taking little pieces of his soul with them as they left for good, carrying him with them in their never-ending journeys. 

He could never resist them for long. They tore him from the life he might have lead, whipping him around and leading him to the most quiet, secluded places. He could never sleep well in cities because the sky was polluted there, hidden by the street lights and bulbs that dominated the lives of most people. He found his heart in the country, where he could stare up at the sky in the middle of the night, and feel his breath blown away by the millions of hopes and dreams he could see, almost close enough to touch. 

College flew by as San watched, and he moved to the country. There, he spent every night on his roof, counting his blessings and chasing his dreams. Every morning, he took the train to work, and every night he returned to his roof. 

Then one day, he stumbled across a star in broad daylight. 

It was the rare kind of star, the kind that outshines all of the others and fills the dark sky around it with blinding color. It was the kind that you could never not choose to follow, because its beauty so greatly surpassed that of all the others. Wooyoung had that effect on San from the moment they met. 

They were drawn together like fate, and in each other they both found satisfaction. At least for a while.

In Wooyoung's eyes, San saw the twinkle of the sky he loved so much, and in his voice, San found the melody that had tumbled through his head every night he spent on the roof. In the first second of their meeting, San knew that he had found someone worth following anywhere. That was the first time in their relationship where he gave, gifting a small chunk of his soul to the boy he had never seen before. 

For Wooyoung, it was different. His life was hectic and messy, with scattered dreams and soaring ambitions. In everything he looked at, he saw opportunity. So it was with San. Looking into his eyes for the first time, Wooyoung was intrigued. He saw the innocent, daydreaming soul of the boy in front of him and didn't think twice before accepting a piece of it. 

Weeks went by from that encounter and they were drawn ever closer to each other. They began to meet more frequently, planning times to hang out or even just showing up at each other's door, armed with a smile. As their time together grew, their meetings began to cut into San's time on the roof. But when Wooyoung asked, he gave. And so, although he no longer spent every night on the roof, he was always accompanied by at least a single star. 

Their friendship morphed into something deeper as their first kiss arrived. To San, it was sweet and beautiful, full of hidden meaning and passion. As their lips met, he poured another piece of his soul into Wooyoung without thinking twice.

To Wooyoung, it was satisfactory. The longing he had held for such a kiss was quenched, and he let himself be pulled away by the appeal of other callings. For a day, he was gone. He neither answered San's calls, nor let the other boy know where he was. 

But his absence didn't bother San, because he was back the next night, less satisfied, and filled with bigger dreams. 

A day passed, and they shared another kiss. This time it was more passionate, filled with the heat of their longing. To San, it was the beginning of love. To Wooyoung, it was a moment of rest. In the moments their lips were locked, he no longer felt the burning call of ambition. San became his distraction. 

As their time together increased, Wooyoung would disappear for days on end. He left San alone as he chased his own longings, living a second life of which he never spoke to San about. Regardless, San was happy. He spent months in this cycle, watching Wooyoung come and go, and too in love to care. His fixation with the younger boy outgrew the little time they had together, and he thirsted for more. 

"Move in with me," he pleaded one night, interrupting the show they had been watching and lifting his head from where it lay on Wooyoung's chest. 

Wooyoung gave no response, but the question was forgotten as he cupped both hands around San's face and kissed him. This time, the kiss was stronger, more passionate. It warmed his chest and lingered on his lips until the sun broke the horizon. Through his kiss, it became Wooyoung who asked a question, and San didn't have the power to deny him what he wanted. They stayed up late that night, exploring the boundaries of their shared love. But when morning came, San woke to an empty bed, only the lingering feeling of his lover's gentle touch remaining on his skin. 

When he showed up two days later, Wooyoung brought with him a bundle of his possessions, an uncertain answer to San's request. Reassured, San forgave his absence, and welcomed him back with smiling eyes and a warm heart. 

The nights they shared together became more frequent, but so did the days San would spend alone. 

There came a point when their intimacy reached the deepest point, from where it could go no further. They knew each other better than they knew themselves, and had come to learn of every flaw and every scar the other held. In the peaceful hours after they succumbed to the treacherous appeal love, San would trace the contours of Wooyoung's body with his lips. He basked in the light of his star, knowing he longed for nothing more than to remain with him forever. He was in love with this boy, and the life they shared. 

Despite this, Wooyoung grew discontent under San's watchful eyes. While he had eyes for Wooyoung along, San's counterpart rarely looked at him with desire anymore. His ambition turned elsewhere, and his desperate need to satisfy the thirst for more made him restless. As the sun rose, he would disappear, drawn into the chaos of the world by some new dream.

On the days where Wooyoung was away, chasing the ever-further taste of satisfaction, San would work. His consistency was admired by his coworkers, but he had no enthusiasm for his career. When a promotion was available, he was always overlooked, forgotten in the contentedness of his thoughts. 

During the nights, San often lingered in and out of sleep, but always found it much harder to rest while Wooyoung was gone. His soul ached for it's other half, longing to be with the boy he loved so much.

Wooyoung had come back the night before, but as San found himself awake in an empty bed, he felt the panic of not knowing where the other boy was. The clock read 3:06 as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, landing on a silhouette lined against the window. He was staring up at the stars as San used to do, and didn't turn as San called his name. 

"Wooyoung," he spoke softly, "Come back to bed."

The younger boy just stood there, staring at the stars. "Why do you love the sky so much, San?" His tone was downcast, and it was the first time San had ever heard him sound sorrowful. 

"I'll tell you tomorrow, just come back to bed."

He turned from the sky, the depths of his eyes dark and still unknown, even after all the time they had spent together. "You can't tell me tomorrow. Please, I just want to know."

San's heart screamed in his chest at the realization of what Wooyoung meant. But he had never questioned him, and he wasn't going to start now. "It's not the sky," he explained in a whisper, "I love the stars. When I watch them, I can feel the hopes and dreams of everyone who's ever looked up at the sky, and it's as if I know them all. They remind me how little I actually need to be happy, and I feel as if I'm home."

The boy at the window watched him silently, listening. He needed to understand this last thing; the only thing San had ever kept a secret from him, the piece of his soul that San had never given him. "If you love them so much, they why do you never look anymore? The sky's still there, but you no longer see it."

The truth in his words echoed through San, and he looked at the floor. It was true. He no longer felt his love for the stars; he couldn't even stand looking at them. The question Wooyoung was asking him was the last thing he had, the only piece of his soul he hadn't given away. "I don't need to watch the stars anymore," San trembled as he spoke, "because I have you. You-" he choked, unable to give away the last piece of himself -are my stars now. I don't love them because I have you. I love you, and you alone. "They don't interest me anymore," he said at last, closing his eyes in pain. 

Wooyoung nodded, stealing one last glance at the sky before he walked back to their bed, slipping beneath the covers and settling next to San. As they wrapped their limbs around each other, San lifted his head so they were mere inches apart.

"Do you love me?" he asked, searching for a response in Wooyoung's eyes, but there was only silence. 

The younger boy never said no, but the absence of an answer was one in itself. He whispered, "Kiss me," and their breathing became intermingled as they found each other's lips. He felt the same joyous excitement as he had the first time they had kissed, but when they parted, San could no longer find the satisfaction that had always lingered in Wooyoung's eyes. 

He rested his head on the younger boy's chest, breathing in his calming scent. The warmth of their bodies laying there, pressed together, caused his eyes to flutter closed and his breathing to slow. He willed himself to stay awake, to be there to hold Wooyoung back when he left. But there was no point in holding onto the lie he had invested himself into for the past three years, and he was too tired and too empty to care anymore. 

So when morning came, the cold bed he had woken up to for the past month was no surprise. Everything was the same. The clothes strewn across the bedroom's floor were still there. The eerie stillness of the living room was still there. 

He discarded his fuzzy blanket on the couch, but couldn't move anymore. Everything was still there: the coffee mugs they shared on the rare mornings they were both home, their meal from the night before which sat uncleaned on the table, and even the toothbrush Wooyoung had left on the kitchen counter. But even in the fullness of the house, it was empty. 

That night, as the light faded across the summer sky, Wooyoung found himself on his roof once more. 

There, above him, were millions of stars lighting up the sky. One in particular caught his eye. It wasn't the brightest, or the largest, but it twinkled the cruel song he had once thought so beautiful. For the whole night, he stayed awake and listened to the sweet lulling of his far-away captor. It was the sparkle in Wooyoung's eyes that he saw, the sweet voice that had whispered into his ear during the lonely hours of dawn. 

"I'm sorry," he had said every night as he left, whispering to his sleeping lover. 

Those words came to San one last time as the sun rose from its slumber, and the star faded from the brightening sky. He watched as it left, and knew with certainty that those moments were the last they would be together. As it disappeared forever, the warm rays of the sun welcomed him into a new day. 

From then on, he slept in his own bed.


End file.
